


Jelly Donuts and Distasteful Pranks

by Terracottakitkatbar



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fluff, Gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 18:03:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8337463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terracottakitkatbar/pseuds/Terracottakitkatbar
Summary: Peridot is a meme.





	

Pearl never understood why humans used the method of yoga so often to calm themselves down. It never worked for her, usually because of the breathing in and out thing. Though she continuously attempted to ease her mind by sitting cross-legged atop one of her many towering fountains. However, her day’s meditations were interrupted once again by the opening of the temple door, notifying her that another gem had rudely bombarded her quiet. 

Though instead of the usual appearance of Amethyst charging through, Pearl was surprised to spot Peridot strutting her way up to the center fountain with a look Pearl could only describe as cocky.

“Pearl! Look at what Steven has generously placed into my hands!” Peridot nearly hollered out to the paler gem, waving a bag of donut holes in the air.

Pearl squinted to get a closer look at what she was going on about, before seeing the familiar symbol marked across the bag from The Big Donut. She heaved a sigh, standing now to jump down from her perch. “Peridot, if you’re looking for someone to eat..food with..” She paused, shivering at the thought, “Then you’ve come to the wrong gem. Why don’t you ask Amethyst? She might even eat the bag for you.” 

At the mention of the Quartz gem, Peridot saddened, her stature slumping to a pout. “That’s the reason Steven gifted me with food. Him and Amethyst took my precious barn mate Lapis away from me to visit Mask Island and repair the damages done by the fight between you four- er..three and Malachite. It was consolation for me not being able to go with..”

“Well that shouldn’t be much of a problem, seeing as you favorite gem is still here?” Pearl tried at a joke, flashing a small smile down to the smaller gem before turning to make her way back to the center fountain. 

To this, Peridot shook her head in disbelief. Did she just..? 

“Since when have you ever actually tried to be funny?” Peridot stammered, her demeanor huffy now as she went after the other gem. “Nevermind, don’t answer that. Anyways, are you going to help me or not? Garnet can’t decide if she wants to share with me, and I can’t wait until the other three get back!”

Pearl absolutely would not involve herself in eating anything any time soon, though now that she thought about it, watching Peridot experience the feeling of eating for the first time did sound like a way to pass the time, though it wasn’t her usual idea of doing so, something seemed different today.

“Fine, since I’ve got nothing really better to do..but I won’t partake in this horrendous activity, I’d simply like to watch and document for Steven and Amethyst as I know you’d like me to do.”  
\--  
“So, I see you’ve managed to obtain another one of these?” Pearl asked as she gently waved Peridot’s newest tape recorder, looking it over before Peridot stopped her from opening the back.

“Yes! And I’ve equipped it with a heavily protected casing, courtesy of my extraordinary metal-bending powers.” Peridot flashed a haughty smile, rubbing the metallic casing of the recorder with her knuckles as if it were an apple in need of a shining. She was proud of her new work. Already within the past month has she managed to make wrecking ball of a yo-yo for Smoky Quartz, on top of her newest meep morp that Lapis had happily placed right out front. 

“I see, well then, shall we begin?” Pearl attempted to move the conversation along, hoping to retire to her room soon and hoping the three absent gems would appear at any moment. 

Though Peridot could read the boredom in the other’s eyes, and soon got to work, excitedly ripping open the bag and squeaking as the contents landed on her lap. “Ack! It’s all sticky and gross! Who would invent such a useless object?!”

Pearl simply shrugged at this, a soft giggle emanating from her in an almost ‘I told you so’ manner. “One of the reasons I don’t choose to eat. Food, especially what Steven usually craves, is disgusting. It only gives your body a goopy feeling that only the odd likes of Amethyst can-”

She paused, noticing Peridot pressing her tongue curiously to the glazed frosting on top of the donut, frozen as if she was stuck to it. The pale gem raised a brow, leaning in closer to perhaps bring the gem back to her senses. “You know, that’s not how you eat those things..”

“Well duh!” Peridot exclaimed, taking a bite out of it nonchalantly. “I know how humans eat! You seem to forget that I’m well educated in the sciences of human behavior!”

“Because you watch those odd teen drama shows of Steven’s?”

Peridot froze at this, turning to Pearl with a mouthful of donut. “Ith nah ahd! Cam Pinihn Hearss ith tah tier ennertament!” 

“Uh-huh..” Pearl rolled her eyes, glancing to the window as if something much more important were going on outside. “I can never understand Steven’s passion for those shows. Especially that Crying Breakfast People one or whatever it was called. They only say two things before bursting into tears, and the whole plot is only advanced by singing or, surprise, crying!” 

“You’re quite the hypocrite.” Peridot groaned, wiping jelly off from her cheek. “Don’t you do the same thing? I’ve only ever learned things about you when you partake in either or both of those activities!”

To this, Pearl’s nose scrunched, a disgusted look on her face before an idea struck Peridot. A smile curled on her lips as she smashed the donut to them, rubbing the jelly on her lips and enjoying the displeased sounds emanating from Pearl. She turned to the taller gem, flashing a gooey grin and quickly moving into smash they jelly from her face onto the other’s. Pearl let out a scream of terror at this, falling back from the couch and writhing on the ground as she tried desperately to wipe the mess from her face, all while hearing Peridot’s raucous laughter.

“WHAT ON EARTH WAS THAT FOR?!” The pale gem screeched, jumping up in seething anger, which only made Peridot’s laughter grow. 

“Y-You should see the look on your face! Just like Pierre’s in Camp Pining Hearts, Episode 6 of season 5 when Paulette tried to pull the same trick! I can’t believe I pranked a gem of such high intelligence into this preschool level joke!” She nearly howled with laughter, holding her sides as she fell to the floor. “I can’t wait to show Amethyst this!” She continued, going over to grab her recorder. Though on analyzing the black light where it should’ve been shining red, Peridot’s insides froze, sinking into her light-projected stomach. “No..no! I can’t believe you didn’t press the button! Now Amethyst will never believe I got you better than her!”

Pearl, on finishing washing her face, harrumphed at the other, turning towards the temple door. “Karma. Serves you right, Peridot.”


End file.
